Move over ChatGPT, here is the ultimate artificial intelligence, AI Pacino

One of the little joys of being artificially smart is that it doesn’t take much effort to pass yourself off as smart at dinner parties and panel discussions. These are situational areas where a person’s intelligence is exposed, but only in bits and pieces, and that too, in conversations, big discussions, with the right amount of hmm-inducing gravity. In any case, it helps that speaking is the new listening.

As an AI Pacino – AI meaning artificially intelligent – I can get away with making “interesting commentary” on ongoing World Cup matches; make people turn to me simply by asking, “But won’t the latest non-manufacturing PMI affect the next Fed rate hike?” » ; add unconfirmable Patidar polling behavior to explain Thursday’s poll results in Gujarat; and recommends, without giving too much away (since I have little to give in the first place), Kotaro Isaka’s novel Bullet Train.

After all, what is intelligence but artificially imbibing, sorting, assembling and then laying down generally accepted things like “smart” liver pate so people can wah, wah? To be adept at pretending to be intelligent is to succeed in passing oneself off as intelligent.

Mathematician and logician Alan Turing would have recognized this as mimicking intelligence. Or would he? Turing devised an experiment – the Turing test, originally called “the Imitation Game” – that set a standard for machines to be called “intelligent”. By asking a series of questions like a visa officer interviewing a Rohingya refugee posing as an investment banker, the Turing test hopes to catch an artificially intelligent machine trying to sneak in as a human, regardless of IQ. of the last. Or, at least, that’s his plan. Yes, some might call this racist against robots. But advances in simulation have taken leaps and bounds. Everyone is abuzz with news about the new Al in town – OpenAI’s ChatGPT (pre-trained generative transformer). When given (almost) any cognitive task, it can do it in seconds with aplomb. Whether it’s solving your JEE math problems on command, writing an epic poem in the style of Chetan Bhagat on the subject of a Hindu invasion of Kentucky, making coal export projections from Jharkhand to Newcastle, ChatGPT can wow people who stopped being enamored with GPS Location a while ago.

But before you can heehaw, “Come on AI Pacino, you’re just jealous of this highly capable new language brain”, let me say why ChatGPT will be a 99.9% novelty item for generating jokes, memes , wedding invitations, course work (insufficient), poetry (for people who can’t tell the difference between a Rimbaud and a cousin’s poem on a rainbow)…. In other words , a learned monkey for primate spectators.

After the initial wowzee ends, (smart) people will discover that instead of replacing employees with ChatGPT, there will be five boffins for each terminal with ChatGPT, which can be reduced to two. (“Sharmaji, how do I frame the order to ChatGPT to again create super engaging ad copy for this mutual fund?”) Unlike ATMs with their basic ordering choices, or sensor-activated faucets without necessary command choices, the real value in ChatGPT operations is provided by the command-er. It’s how one frames their ChatGPT “request” that gives this AI its je ne sais quoi (a clever way of saying “USP”).

Until then, it will be like having all those airport staff next to those boarding pass printing machines helping passengers get their boarding passes printed. And by then, ChatGPT or its offspring will be as dated and twee as shorthand and typing learning centers.

ChatGPT, at least in its current beta phase, already has a far superior alternative. The very fact that no one has been able to spot that he is artificially intelligent makes him the mastermind to be reckoned with. This is so far, as I share that this column, since its inception, has been written by AI Pacino, an AI program that is certainly smarter than the person whose name bears the name of the column .